Straightening My Path
Ever since we were small, my brother and I have always been encouraged by our parents to go to church. My family is very religious which is expected since my father is a reverend in a local church. I remember attending Sunday school when we were small and whenever we missed the service because of oversleeping, my parents would get mad.
Since the age difference between my brother and I is two years, I always knew I was different since I was not into things that boys liked. I found things that girls did very interesting and fun like applying nail polish as well as dressing dolls. Furthermore, I also found myself being attracted more to boys than girls. I always suppressed these feelings since the church always discouraged such thing terming them immoral.
When I got to high school, my life changed, I met new friends who had the same personality as me, and it is only then that it dawned on me that I was gay. My new friends who were mostly gay started introducing me to gay night clubs. Although this clubs did not allow people below the age of eighteen years old, my friends ensured that we got fake identity cards. When in this clubs I felt at home and I felt like I was understood.
By senior year in high school I gathered enough courage and decided to tell my family. The reaction I got was nowhere near what I expected. My father obviously was the most hit by this news, and he even went to an extent of abusing me physically and emotionally. He even told me that he was ashamed of being a father of a gay child. I can remember vividly when I can home late one week after I disclosed the news and he assumed that I was having sexual relations with other men. He beat me very hard on the head with a broomstick such that I was rendered unconscious for two hours.
My father beating me changed me completely; I decided to prove to him that I can do anything I wanted. Thinking that I was hurting him, I decided to do the exact thing he accused me of doing. I slept with any gay guy I knew who I considered attractive and sometimes without even using protection. I did not care anymore about the reputation of my father as a reverend. I was so focused on settling scores with my father that I was sacrificing my body to do that.
The members of the public became part of the problem instead of the solution. They would not embrace anybody who dared to be different. I strongly felt that most of the members of the public were ignorant. They assumed that anybody who is gay will not go to heaven. This to me was a form of judgment and the holy Bible itself says that we should not judge one another. The society distanced itself from me as if I was suffering from a contagious disease.
A wake-up call came when my healthy started deteriorating and after going to the hospital, my worst fears were confirmed. The medical professional informed me that I was infected with the deadly disease called HIV aids. I was very bitter towards God since I could not understand why he had made me gay in the first place. I was enrolled in therapy, and the doctor advised me to tell my family. They took the news hard especially my mother but through therapy she and I accepted it. I changed my ways and even and so did my father since he started warming up to me. I felt encouraged and even given medicine and diet directions so that I can live longer. I blame nobody for the stupid choices I made and the company I kept, but now I view life in a different light; that of optimism for the future. I came to learn that even a gay person can live life to the fullest just like everybody else. However, the support of the family and friends is very important. My father introduced me to a verse in the bible that has always given me encouragement whenever I am in doubt. Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
I came to learn that revenge does not actually solve anything but in the real sense it serves to destroy a person even further. I feel that the public should be educated on what it means to be gay so that they can stop discriminating against them. This according to me will ensure that people live in harmony and at peace with one another.